I was talking TVs with Anna, my neighbor and fab friend the other day and the subject of where to have a television in one’s home came up.  I told her that while I have been known to like watching tv in bed from time to time- especially in a posh hotel room with a huge bed and lots of pillows and crisp sheets – or when I’m sick – I really to agree that it’s likely better to relegate the device to the living room/den/kitchen/what-have-you, as one is supposed to keep the bedroom for sleeping, talking, reading and … you know … other stuff … but not for watching TV.

Anna thought about this and said that her husband felt the same way but she had a different take on it: “I think you should talk in the living room, have sex on the kitchen table and watch tv in bed.” 

Touche, my amazing and brilliant friend. 
I love the way you think.

next test, dublin on saturday.  this time with daddy.  hope i haven’t jinxed it all by publishing this …

While out in search of an ink cartridge for my printer the other day, I stumbled upon a little mall near my friend Shannon’s house.  I had borrowed my neighbor’s car – a trusty, old, green Subaru station wagon that has come in handy from time to time around here.  Shannon and her husband, Dave have been incredibly generous in loaning us things that they no longer need baby-wise and one of said things is a car seat. 

Elise has only been in it a handful of times but seems to like it once we get moving. (This girl does not like to stand still … sound like anyone else you know?) My mom sent us a mirror to put on the head rest that Elise faces so she can see herself and I can look in the rear view mirror and see her seeing herself.  Pretty cool, though it’s a plexiglass mirror (for safety, I’m sure) and she looks a bit likes she’s in a fun house mirror…

We entered the parking garage and took a ticket (there is no such thing as free parking here) and looked for a space.  We passed the bank of handicapped spots on the right and as we did, I wondered if there would be family spots like there are at IKEA. 

Next thing I see are what look to be spots with the female symbol painted on the ground.  Now this I had never seen.  Feminist parking spots? Go on!  Well, not necessarily feminist spots, but spots specifically for women?  Interesting.  I had a few thoughts initially:  this is nice … there are  were many(pre-baby) times when my feet hurt from wearing ‘innapropriate’  shoes and walking a shorter distance to the mall entrance would be welcomed.  Women with babies or young children?  Yes. All for it.  Even before becoming a mom.  But why not call them family spaces like at IKEA?

I wondered what my feminist friends would think – Is this a good idea?  Insulting?  A good idea with poor ‘branding’?  - especially one of my v. closest friends who teaches Women’s Studies and runs the Women’s Center at a the University of Massachusetts in Dartmouth, Dr. Juli Parker.  (I’ll  call her and will report back or hope that she will comment)

Much like the ‘holding the door’ point/issue – I’m assuming that this might be similar – some women love having the door held for them, the chair pulled out for them, the car door opened for them because they love the gesture of chivalry.  Others like this because it is a human kindness/courtesy – not just men doing it for women, but vice versa and women for women, etc… people being kind to people and having good manners.

Then there are women who don’t want to have the door held for them by a man because they feel like they can do it themselves. They don’t need a man to hold the door for them.  (I’m aware there are likely many other reasons as well.)  I get it.  But I don’t feel that way.  I love it when a man is chivalrous – the more so the better – I’m an old-fashioned dame that way, but I hold the door for men and women, old and young and see it as having good manners. (There is much more to discuss/debate about this issue but I’m not up for getting into it right now …)

Now I’ve really gotten off topic, though not hugely, because the real point of this part of the post is that while I was snapping the photo on my iphone I looked up when I heard someone whistle loudly quite near me (Mom, I know – you told me not to look when someone was whistling, but I was quite sure that it was not for me … sigh … not anymore … big sigh).

What I saw when I looked up was a large man in his 40’s walking v. leisurely towards the mall and as he whistled again, he threw his head toward the right as if he were signalling something or someone.  And he was.  I looked just ahead and about 20 paces in front of him was a woman who promptly changed her direction when he whistled and nodded.  She barely even looked over her shoulder to see him.  She was obviously used to this.  She was going the wrong way and he needed to correct her. By whistling.  To/at his woman.  Nice. 

I’d like to think of  these as feminist parking places and would like to give one to this woman.  (Then I would look the other way as she took her car and ran that man over).  hehehehehe

monkey, sweet-cheeks, peanutbutta, poopie-pants, peaches, tiny e, monkey-butt, snuggle-turkey, stevie wonder, mrs. serious-pants, pumpkin-butt, ellie-bellie,  chunky-monkey, the chunk, peanut, gangsta, delicious, the cutest baby eva, fussy-monkey, baby-cakes, the snorkler and mashed potato

now if i could only get her to go to bed before 3 am …

okay, well – this may need a little explanation, though likley not to the moms reading … this baby has now slept 7 hours a night for the past 3 nights and is on her way to another one … how lucky are we?

my apologies to the moms who are not experiencing such lengthy and heavenly, undisturbed sleep at present… oh, and i know that it will not always be like this, but damn – this is niiiice.

thank you, elise!

i thought i had prepared myself for the fact that i would now have no time for me, mark, domestic ‘chores’, friends, outside engagements, etc… - pretty much anything but her … i had been told this by everyone but still think i expected that i would be different – i would be the one who would somehow make it all work and find the time to keep knitting sweaters for her, wash my hair, cook Thanksgiving dinner, call friends faithfully, write daily, learn German, and so much more … i thought i was smarter than to think i was smarter/more capable/different than any/all of my friends/acquaintances that are mothers … silly me … i am no different.  sigh.  letting this go and trying to be okay with it all.

not that i really was on top of all these things before she was here either – there was always something going on, some reason to procrastinate, avoid, excuse and ignore.  maybe now i will chose my projects and passions more wisely and perhaps even be a bit more focused.  perhaps this tiny, sweet, wise doll  is already helping me become not only a good mom but a better person by forcing me to chose the things that are most important to me, to prioritize and be really efficient in the v. little spits and spurts of time i now have.

first thing: cull my 5 page, single-spaced ‘to-do’ list down and give myself a break.  next: start heeding the sage advice of – nap when they nap.  think i’ll try that one out now.  i’ll be right there, elise .. just as soon as mommy finishes putting together this cute pink ikea dresser for your room …

i know that all will be fine – she is healthy as am i and i am in v. good hands here in zurich (both at home and at the hospital) but when things fail to progress naturally, i guess it makes sense for one to become a bit ill at ease…

i also suppose that my hours spent on the internet researching everything from natural induction technicques and ideas to what stripping of the membranes really means is not helping.  and though i am showered with love and support everytime i sign in to my facebook account – i also know that with each passing day my friends and family are getting more eager and anxious.  and then there are also those whose advice, though always welcome and appreciated, is not always comforting or calming …

so perhaps a self-imposed moratorium on internet usage for me.  at least until the baby comes.  (as soon as i post this and update my twitter account, of course)

i took mom and my belly to hooters in zurich today – kind of as a joke, as it’s not a place we would normally go, but as soon as it came out of my mouth, we both laughed and agreed that it was pretty perfect and that we needed something to shake things up and that maybe, just maybe, this baby would respond to chicken wings and curly fries … so far no dice.  but we did get this awfully swell photo:

i have to say, i feel as though we’ve tried just about everything ‘they’ (along with personal advice from good friends and my own crazy ideas) say to do to get babies out: the teas, walking, spicy food, acupuncture, acupressure, shiatsu, more walking, peter fonda rubbing the belly, galloping up and down on a curb, giving the kid a stern talking to, eating loaded pizza, going for a car ride on a somewhat bumpy road, relaxing baths, finishing her room, asking her nicely and even telling her what her name will likely be…

as i head to bed this evening after yet another wonderful meal made and cleaned up after by my amazing mother (with whom i’ve had the most delightful time waiting for this kid – she should sell herself as a ‘lady-in-waiting’ for these kinds of things – she’s got a real knack for it …), i take comfort in knowing that this little girl is already on her own path and will arrive when she is good and ready. 

so if not by tomorrow, mom and i will likely hit another brocki haus, go for more walks, knit and talk and laugh more, visit with friends and neighbors, watch a movie, eat some good food and field more calls from the U.S. asking, ‘where is she?!!!!’  and that’s okay too. (though i am getting a little impatient, i must admit…)